The Leadership Lesson My Father Learned the Hard Way in Mexico

When my father was transferred to Mexico for a high-level role, he received some unexpected advice:

“You need to apply baby powder when you speak to people here.”

He was Cuban — straightforward, direct, and proud of his no-nonsense leadership style. But in Mexico, that same style landed like a ton of bricks. His bluntness clashed with a culture that valued diplomacy, kindness, and face-saving.

He couldn’t understand why his people were “so sensitive.” They couldn’t understand why he was “so harsh.” Everyone was trying, but the tension was thick enough to cut through.

At home, we all felt it.

That assignment should’ve been a career highlight for him. Instead, it was a constant uphill climb and huge stressor. The frustration came not from the work itself, but from not being able to connect with his team.

Years later, when we talked about it, he admitted how unprepared he’d been. Nobody had ever taught him that leading across cultures requires more than technical skill or authority. It demands awareness  of how what people value, and how they listen, interpret, and respond.

I think that’s when my curiosity began. I’d watched the ripple effect of miscommunication up close, how easily good intentions can go sideways, and how frustration can grow from something as small as tone, timing, or an unspoken expectation.

I wanted to understand what my father couldn’t:

Why do smart, capable leaders struggle so much to get things done?

Over the years, I’ve learned that what tripped him up still trips up teams everywhere. Different cultures, different companies — same knots.

Common Knots That Keep Teams Tangled

1. Handling conflict like a hot potato.

Too many leaders try to keep the peace by avoiding tension. The problem is, avoidance doesn’t make conflict go away, it just sends it underground, where it grows. Real leadership doesn’t dodge discomfort; it addresses it calmly, early, and with emotional intelligence.

2. Treating feedback like a one-way street.

Feedback isn’t a performance review; it’s a conversation. When leaders only “deliver” feedback instead of exchanging it, people get defensive or tune out. Moreover, it needs to be constant, not a once or twice a year formal event. Curiosity builds connection faster than criticism ever will.

3. Skipping the cultural layer.

Every workplace has its own unwritten code, whether it’s shaped by geography, hierarchy, or team norms. Ignoring that layer can turn a simple comment into a misunderstanding. Learn to read the room—and the culture—before you assume intent.

4. Confusing digital convenience with connection.

Text and email are efficient, but they flatten nuance. Some messages need a voice, a face, or at least a pause for reaction. If your message carries emotion, risk, or uncertainty, switch from typing to talking. You’ll save time—and relationships.

I watched my father struggle with many of these same knots years ago, long before we used words like “EQ” or “cross-cultural.” And I’ve seen modern versions of them in boardrooms, virtual teams, and project meetings around the world.

The good news is that communication can be untangled. It starts with awareness—and the willingness to see what’s really happening beneath the words.

Each month, I’ll share a story, a reflection, and a few practical ideas from the field—and from my book Untangling Communication: How Leaders Can Strengthen Communication, Resolve Conflict, and Build High-Performing Teams—to help you make conversations clearer and teams stronger.

👉 If this resonated, subscribe to keep learning how to untangle the everyday knots of leadership.